st_hotflashes | We need to talk

We need to talk - Peter

Liz walked up to Peter's door with a bag filled with food for lunch including sandwiches, chips, some fruit, and brownies for dessert. They had planned this before, but now she had another reason to sit down with Peter and talk.

She took a breath and knocked. She was a little early, so she hoped she wasn't interrupting anything

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"I don't know... I mean." She gestured vaguely in front of her because she really quite wasn't sure how to put her feelings into words. "I guess, maybe, I feel like somehow it's... unfair to you or, something. Even though it's not like I chose this and stuff. It feels... well, not like cheating but something like that?"

She peered at him with an expression that seemed to say 'I don't really know what I'm talking about.'

Peter shakes his head. "I don't think of it like that at all. If it's me you're worried about, you don't have to be."

Peter reaches for her hand and gives it a squeeze.

She smiled somewhat sheepishly. "Maybe I'm a little worried about that." And the other part was just this strange feeling that her whole being was changing and she didn't really get a say in it.

"I'm lucky to have you, you know."

"You're not lucky," Peter admits, feeling embarrassed. Even though it's awkward to do so, he keeps his hand rested over hers as he takes another bite of sandwich.

"Have you told Maria yet?"

"You mean about the DNA thing?" She paused, then flushed just the tiniest bit. "Yeah. It... well, it went as well as it would have with Maria." Maria had made several jokes about a boy being inside of her.

"She's the first I told about what happened at the diner, you know? I tell her almost anything." Almost. There were some things she kept when it came to other people's lives.

Peter figured; still, he feels a tinge of guilt. Normally, he told Ned everything, too, but he still hadn't told him anything about what was going to happen and he needed to.

"What'd she say?"

She looked at him with an expression like 'do you really want to know?' then wet her lips. "She, um... She made a joke about having to, um. you know -: She pulled back her hand gently, looking down at her sandwich while spoke. A part of her told her just to say Maria said nothing and then another part of her wouldn't stop answering the question, "Having to correct that by having a better boy inside of me."

Her cheeks felt like she turned as red as a stop sign and she was observing the lettuce in her sandwich quite carefully.

Peter is midbite when Liz says that and he chokes on his sandwich. He turns around, coughing, red just as from embarrassment from the statement itself as he was from the actual coughing.

She might have been paralyzed from embarrassment had it not been for Peter's coughing. She looked up, eyes widened a little as she stood up. "Are you okay?"

Peter reaches for his bottled water, nodding furiously and uncaps it. After a few long swigs, he manages to clear his throat enough to give Liz a verbal answer.

"Yeah," he says, finally. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

He takes another sip of water, his cheeks still red with embarrassment. "If you," Peter says, hesitating. "If you wanted to, I think I'm ready."

She blinked. Did she hear that right? She stilled and then slowly lowered herself back onto the chair. Liz watched him quietly from the other side of the table. "...really?"

"I mean." Peter swallows. "If you still want to."

She flushed again with a barely-there, though sheepish smile. "I don't think that's something people stop wanting to do with the person they love..."

"I just wanted to make sure." Peter looks around, nervous, still gripping the bottle in his hands. "When should we do it?"

The small smile turned into a slightly bigger one, warm from the way Peter was and how she adored him for it. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I don't, um... I don't think it's something we need to set a date for. I mean, unless you want to. We could just... do it when we both, um. feel like it's the right time?"

"What do you want to do?" Peter asks. A part of him is worried about making a bad or a wrong choice here. He doesn't want to mess it up. Not when it's both of their first time.

"What do you mean?" She looked a little confused, though also a little awkward. "Do you mean like.. um. Where it should happen or... Positions?" It was hard getting that last word out. Despite feeling ready for sex, discussing it openly was still weird for her

"I mean, when and where and --" Peter hadn't even begun to think of positions until now, but now it seemed important to talk about. "-- how."

"Um..." The lack of access to porn in her time meant that Liz was working on a small pool of knowledge. She knew enough to know that sex Ed was not comprehensive in the actual 'doing' of the deed. She was more out of her depth than she thought Peter was.

"Well... I don't think. I mean. I think I'd be comfortable with having a bed." She couldn't quite picture her first time somewhere public like a beach, despite what the romance movies showed as ideal. "When.. I don't know. Um.. I mean. When would you like to?"

The how was probably the hardest part. Hard because she didn't know how entirely. "Maybe... We should keep it simple the first time?"

The fact they were so openly talking about it was nice, but also so strange and she wasn't sure if her cheeks would ever go back to a normal colour again.

"Yeah, keeping it simple is best," Peter says, nodding, more to himself than to Liz. "I don't know, how about this weekend? Does this weekend work?"

He swallows hard and forces himself to make eye contact with Liz.

She met his gaze and felt the flutter in her chest and the anxiousness of embarrassment. It seemed strange to her to schedule something like this - the movies, after all, always showed it as a spare of the moment thing. However, as she considered the way things were with them, it seemed to make sense. And there was a bit of ease to not having to question what was going to happen.

She took a deep breath in and nodded. "Okay... but only if you still want to. If, you know, we get there and then you don't want to, that's okay." She meant it for herself, too. Despite feeling ready ages ago, she still knew she could still change her mind suddenly.

"Yeah, you too," Peter says, nodding. "And if you decide between now and then there's something you want to do or don't want to do, we should talk about it before then."

Maybe it was good they were giving each other some time to think about it before sex. Maybe it wasn't romantic, but... at least they were going to be careful.

Liz continued to look at him and, not for the first time today, her mind wandered again to him in the shower. It seemed like the promise of the weekend was going to make her more distracted.

"Um. Should I -- Do you want me to wear anything... special?"

"No, what you normally wear is fine," Peter says. "I mean... I think I'd prefer it that way. I'd probably get -- I'd get freaked out if things were too different, you know?"

She smiled, her eyes mustering a little playfulness as she looked at him. "So I shouldn't go blonde from now until then, huh?"

We need to talk - Peter

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