I am not, no matter how much I want to believe it, from Peter's world. I knew it all along, really, but Mr. Stark really confirmed it when he said my parents should know who he is. He's right. My parents might be from Roswell, but they don't live under a rock. They know all the other celebrities and big names in politics, I would have definitely heard the name Tony Stark before coming her.
I am not going to go back to Peter's world. This one is harder for me to accept, but I'm finally starting to see trying to find a way is a waste of time. I thought maybe with the amount of magic in the inn, there might be some way to tether myself to his world like a homing beacon, but everyone who knows about magic and portal - they all say no. It's time I listen to the experts and just come to terms with it. I won't be able to have a future with Peter. I won't be able to marry him or have kids. I don't think I can stop daydreaming about that sort of stuff, but the sooner I start looking at everything more realistically, the sooner I can stop being such a child about everything. It's time Liz Parker grows up.
Despite everything, I know that I love him. I know I haven't loved anyone as much and I know that when I go home and find someone else, it still won't be like the way I love Peter. I might find someone else, I might marry him, and I'll probably even have kids, but it'll always be second best. And you know what? I'm okay with that. We can't always have a fairy tale life. I'll have it here, while I can, and live the best life I can back home when I return.
I will never be a superhero. I'm physically weak. I kept telling myself I just needed to work out more, but I'm not exactly a body builder and I don't think I have it in me to hurt someone unless it was self-defense. I'm smart, though. I know I'm smart and I like being smart and being smart has gotten me out of a lot of sticky situations in the past, so it's not bad. Alex would probably make some silly joke about how my brains are my superpower. I'm okay with not being a superhero. I realized last night as I lay outside my tent looking up at the stars, I'm really okay with being Liz Parker.
August 7