st_hotflashes | Rock Bottom (tag Peter)

Tony had just begun to doze off when Peter hears a rap on the door.

Peter is on his feet in an instant and before the person on the other side can knock again, he jerks open the door.

Peter's breath catches in his throat for a moment.

"Liz," he manages to whisper at her. It takes another long moment for him to force his tongue into motion and another to formulate the words for an apology. "Hey, I'm -- I'm sorry about last night."

When she sees him, Liz is hit was so my relief at once that her eyes immediately gloss over.

She pressed her lips together to stay in control. "Please don't ask me to go away or tell me you're busy." Her voice was strained, but quiet and pleading. Despite his apology, she was worried he was just going to act the same way he had been for the last while.

"I'm not," Peter says. He dampens his lips. "I'm not going to ask you to go away."

He takes a a breath, then steps outside, shutting the door quietly behind them; he doesn't want to risk waking Tony up if they're going to have a conversation. He wouldn't blame Liz if she got angry at him. She had plenty of reasons to be.

She looked Peter over as if trying to see how he was, but it was hard for her to tell.

Liz wasn't angry. While Maria might be annoyed and angry, Liz had never gotten there. She had been to worried and now she was worried and tired.

She took a half-step toward him, wanting to hug him, but then hesitated and brought her hands in front of her, clasping them.

Peter isn't sure how to continue this conversation. He wishes that he didn't have to say anything and that everyone could just go on understood, but not talking to Liz hadn't improved the situation for him and it hadn't improved it for Liz, either.

"Did --" Peter swallows. "Did he tell you?"

When Liz nodded, she meant for it to be a single nod, but her nervous energy turned it into a series of small nods. Her lips pressed down into a right frown and she glanced away as she fought control. When she thought she had it, she looked back at Peter. "Why didn't you tell me?" She felt another wave of nausea woosh through her stomach. "I thought... Don't you trust me?"

Peter closes his eyes and tilts his head back.

"I didn't want to talk to anybody about it. It doesn't have anything to do with you."

Liz nodded again, but this time it didn't feel genuine. She gave another nod as if to try and convince herself, but it didn't make her feel any differently. And then suddenly she felt a spark of anger - the sort that was driven by fear.

"It doesn't have anything to do with me?" She looked at him in disbelief, her skin sweating a little as the temperature rose in her body. "Don't you think you..." She couldn't finish the sentence. She paused, eyes closed for a moment before opening again. "I thought we told each other everything. I thought we -"

She paused, shaking her head this time. The energy she just had deflated. "..if you really think this doesn't involve me... I'll just go."

"I didn't--" Peter has to take a breath. "I didn't say that it didn't have anything to do with you. I mean that how I'm reacting -- that didn't have anything to do with you."

"I love you Peter." Unlike Maria, Liz could not hold onto anger long, which ironically often made Maria angry.

"I just..." She couldn't stop herself. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him. She didn't know what to say.

Peter folds his arms over Liz's smaller form. "I'm sorry," he says before she can say anything else. "I'm not angry at you. I was going to tell you." He's sure he was. "I just..."

She pressed her face into his neck, but shook her head what he apologized. She was sure there was really no right or wrong way to deal with learning you were going to die.

Her arms tightened a little around him. There was so much she wanted to say and yet she couldn't seem to find the words at the same time.

"You shouldn't have to carry this all by yourself."

"It's okay," Peter says, because he's not sure what else to say. Since the other Peter had visited him, he felt extremely emotionally overwhelmed. Dealing with his own feelings was complicated enough; dealing with other people's on top of it felt like an impossible task.

He inhales, then sinks against Liz as he exhales.

"I still have to tell Ned and Alec."

So many people in Liz's life seemed to die in the future and she didn't have much control over it. After she spoke with Thor, who mentioned there were plans in place to try and change the future, Liz had spent what energy she could also trying to think how she might be able to help tip the balance for better... somehow.

Liz's hand went to the back of his head, fingers lacing in his hair in a way she hoped was soothing. She didn't know Ned that long, but she suspected out of the two, Alec might be the harder one to tell. Although maybe Ned would freak out more.

"You don't have to tell them alone." All of Peter's actions the last while started to make sense. "You're not alone."

"I know I don't," Peter says. "But I think I should." Even if Liz didn't feel that way, Peter couldn't help but feel someone might be hurt for not being the first one he told or insulted that he needed someone else to be there to tell them.

He didn't want things to be any more difficult than they were probably going to be already.

She look at him, though couldn't find the ability to let go of him yet. "Okay." She nodded - she was going to support whatever decision he made.

"What, um... what do you need from me?"

"I'll let you know when I figure that out." Right now, Peter doesn't have the slightest idea what he needs or what he doesn't. All he can really hope is that eventually, it'll all click into place. Right now, though?

It all feels impossible.

Liz pulled back a little, but reached for his hand. Hers was a little clammy, but she needed the contact - she didn't want to let go just yet. "Thor. He um, He said they were going to fix things.. and I believe them." Or rather, she believed in them.

"Yeah," Peter says. "Dad said something like that, too." He hadn't gotten into the specifics or anything, but it sounded to Peter like he had something of a plan. At least he had to to tell Peter that he wouldn't let it happen.

"So... what you saw. It can be changed." She didn't know for sure, obviously. "I know from experience that the future isn't set in stone."

"Yeah," Peter says, more in acknowledgement than in agreement. He's not really sure what to think now.

She tensed a little, watching him.

"...Can I kiss you?" Liz was well aware of how he had been avoiding - you didn't go from kissing everyday to not and not notice it after a while.

"I'm sorry, but..." He feels bad saying this. "...not right now. I don't... I don't want to risk you seeing it right now."

Sure, the chance is infinitesimally small, but even if there's the smallest chance, he wants to put it off until he's sure the two of them have the wherewithal to handle it.

If they ever have the wherewithal to handle it.

"So that's why..." The realization came out as a soft whisper. There was the briefest of moments where she almost pulled away, the start of her fingers moving away, but then she stopped and remained and after another moment, squeezed his hands.

Liz nodded, though this time there were tears as she did. Immediately she felt stupid.

"Sorry. This isn't - not really from that. Just... just how, how things were finally starting to getting better and now... it's not fair." Her body started to warm again, though she wasn't quite aware of it. Her hand in Peter's hand warming too. "You don't deserve this."

Peter attempts a smile. "There's not really much we can do about it, so..."

He finds his voice trailing off. He wasn't even sure how he was going to end that thought, anyway.

"I'm going to be fine, though, so try not to worry. And, uh..."

It was easy for Liz to pick up on the fact Peter wasn't confident as his words suggested and that, perhaps, was what worried Liz more. Did Peter believe there was a way to stop what he saw from happening? She couldn't even comfort Peter the way her entire being was yelling at her to do. That he was trying to be so grown up about this, too, was confusing and heartbreaking.

The swirl of emotions was hard to pinpoint what she felt. It felt like a bad storm inside of her. Suddenly a unseen spark formed between her hand and his.

Liz yelped in surprise and pain as she pulled her hand back to her chest. It felt like a static shock, but on steroids.

Peter jerks back with a yelp, not sure what might have caused it; his web-slingers weren't on him, so they couldn't have malfunctioned. And it was a little strong to be a static shock.

Peter pushes his many questions about what happened aside to ask a more important one:

"You okay?"

"um, yeah." She nodded, looking at her hand. She wasn't sure how that happened and her eyes went to Peter's wrist to see if he had his web slingers on.

"You felt that too? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Peter says, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Peter takes her hand into his own and gives it a squeeze.

When there isn't another spark, Liz relaxes a bit. Despite herself, her eyes glance to his iips before looking back up to his eyes. The urge to kiss him was always a strong one, especially now after a dry spell already. She could respect his wished though and pushed her desire for him aside as best she could.

"Are you, um.. are you going to stay with Mr. Stark for a while?"

"I don't know," Peter says, glancing uncertainly at the closed door. "Probably for a little bit, anyway. I think he's worried."

She nodded. "Okay. I can, um - well, I can keep Ned company for a bit." She'd offer Alec, but she doubted he would find her company thrilling. Besides, he'd probably get suspicious.

Peter can't help but feel a little relieved at the offer. He's still not sure how or when he's going to tell him or anyone esle.

"Thank you," he says appreciatively. "And uh... can you talk to Maria for me?" That's what he was going to ask about earlier, before the weird shock thing. "I'm pretty sure she hates me."

She offered him a little smile. "She doesn't hate you. She's just... Maria. She's a talker and a yeller. It's sort of her way of communicating... But I'll talk to her."

"Thank you."

It feels like Peter's saying that a lot lately. That and I'm sorry.

"I'll let you know when I've told everybody else." Peter rubs the side of his nose. "I don't know if I should say anything to Annie."

Liz didn't know the answer to that either. She thought about the little girl for a moment. "Do you think she would be hurt you didn't tell her? Or would she be more hurt if she found out... Um, about what happens?"

"I don't know," Peter says quietly. "I don't know if she should know, but I think if she finds out later..."

It's going to be a disaster.

Liz nodded. Annie could be very mature for her age in some ways and she'd probably understand what it meant if he didn't tell her.

"I think... Maybe, if you decide to tell her. Spend more time together first where you're, um... Less distracted?" Meaning he left his baggage at the door, so to speak. "So she knows you're still here and you haven't, um... Haven't given up, you know?"

"Yeah," Peter says, his voice barely above a murmur. "I'm just not going to worry about it right now." He's not sure he'd have room to worry about it anyway.

She watched him for a moment, eyes roaming over him, taking in his posture and his facial expression. Her heart felt broken - she had never seen him look this way.

"Peter?" Liz paused. She then brought his hand up to her lips and she pressed a soft kiss onto the back of his hand - she might not be able to kiss him on the lips, but Liz still wanted to express how she felt somehow to him that spoke louder than words.

"I'll, um... I'll go and help... with Ned." Like she said she would. Liz got the feeling that Peter still didn't really want to talk to much about it and that speaking to her was hard at the moment. She didn't quite blame him.

"You should rest... spend time with Mr. Stark, okay?"

"Thanks," Peter says, for what feels like the hundredth time today. "Thank you, Liz."

Peter wraps his arms around Liz and sets his face against her shoulder. A long moment passes before he finally lets go.

"I'll message you later, okay?"

Liz nodded, offering him a small smile. "I love you, you know." Her smile warmed a little as she took a step backwards. Her eyes lingered for another moment and then she turned and headed down the hall feeling as if she were carrying a very heavy backpack on her shoulders.

Rock Bottom (tag Peter)

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