(backdated) A talk - Peter

[st_hotflashes]

Liz hardly used to phone she got in Europe, but she did use it for pictures. She understood why comparatively her flip phone was not as good because you had access to all sorts of memories in one place. Currently she was sitting on her bed flipping through pictures of her and Peter I Europe and at the inn, resisting the urge to lean over and send him a message over the journal. When he was ready, he would come find her... right?

On the table was the drawing Piotr had made for her - she and Peter in New York looking happy and holding hands. It lay face up on the table as Liz hadn't decided to put it up yet or not. It was a complicated choice.

She sighed and flopped onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. Things always seemed so complicated.

Maybe she should go find Maria.

Comments

[st_arkintern]

Peter swallows from where he stands outside of Liz's door.

Truthfully, he's been dreading it. He's had a hold on his own feelings for two days now, but he didn't want to have the conversation.

Somehow, through sheer force of will, he sets his knuckle against the door and gently raps twice.

"Hello? Liz?"

[st_hotflashes]

Liz's chest seized for a moment. Somehow she knew it was Peter before he spoke and she wondered if it was a bad sign he didn't use his key.

She turned off her phone and rolled off the bed, heading to the door. She took a deep breath and opened the door with a small, but worried smile. Part of her was pretty sure this was a break up conversation.

"Hey." She paused and then took a step to the side. "Do you, um. Want to come in or.. um. Go for a walk or... Something?"

[st_arkintern]

Peter doesn't answer Liz's question. Instead he blurts out words of his own:

"Things are okay between us," he says and he can feel his face flushing. He'd thought of a few ways to start this conversation, but that wasn't one of them. "I mean." Peter dampens his lips. "They are for me."

[st_hotflashes]

She was surprised at his sudden words. Her reaction might not have looked immediately good. Her lips pressed down into a small frown and for the briefest of moments she looked like maybe she was going to cry.

Then she lunged forward and hugged him, arms around his shoulders. "I'm so sorry."

[st_arkintern]

"Nothing to be sorry for," Peter says, hoping he sounds reassuring. He folds her arms over her and pulls her in. "You okay?"

[st_hotflashes]

She nodded into his neck, debating on whether to admit something or not, and then quietly into his neck, she spoke. "I thought maybe you didn't want to keep dating anymore."

[st_arkintern]

"No, I just..."

Peter presses his lips together. He's not surprised she thought that, though that was never even on the table for discussion, even immediately after she told him.

"...needed time to figure things out."

[st_hotflashes]

She lifted her head. She could tell him how 'figure things out' sounded a lot like code about 'whether or not I want to be with you' but it didn't matter - he said they were okay, so they had to be, right?

"Did you? Figure things out, I mean."

[st_arkintern]

"Not really," Peter admits, a little embarrassed. "I still don't know what to do about Bradley."

But he basically knew what he wanted with Liz from the start.

[st_hotflashes]

She reached for his hand to draw him inside so they didn't have this conversation over the threshold of her room - especially in case people started to walk by.

"Do you mean like, if you're going to beat him up or not?" This was what Kyle would do. "Or... did you want me to not talk to him?" This would be more a Max thing, though Kyle had banned certain boys from Liz's list of talk-to.

[st_arkintern]

"No, no, no," Peter says, quickly. "Nothing like that. I just think... he and I should talk about it." Peter's voice cracks a little there in typical teenage boy fashion. "That's all."

[st_hotflashes]

She sat on the end of her bed, almost heavily. "And talking to him is awkward." Or it would be for her.

"I tried to talk to him in the hall one day, but he was definitely avoiding me. I keep thinking maybe I did something that confused him." Liz still felt like this was her fault somehow.

[st_arkintern]

Peter pads behind her and sits down next to her, his hands in his lap.

"I don't know how you can confuse someone into kissing you," Peter says. "Did he say you confused him?"

[st_hotflashes]

She thought about what happened after the kiss. She shook her head. "All he kept saying was he was sorry and he shouldn't have done it. And then he practically ran away." It had been uncomfortable all around, really.

[st_arkintern]

"What exactly happened before you guys --" Peter pauses, very briefly. "-- kissed?"

[st_hotflashes]

She frowned a little. The way he said it made it sound like she had been kissing Brad, too. She didn't correct him, though, because she hope it was just how it sounded and not what Peter thought.

"It was raining. I got caught in it so I told shelter outside the stables. Brad was there too only I guess he made it under in time." He had been decidedly more dry than she.

"I was cold and wet so he gave me his sweater." And as she said it, she realized maybe that was her mistake. And she wondered how it sounded to someone else, too.

"Um. And then we talked a little and I called him my friend and he asked if that's what we were and... Then he kissed me."

[st_arkintern]

Maybe Peter shouldn't have asked because understanding what happened only made him feel an unfamiliar surge of jealousy. Wearing Brad's sweater. Brad's lips on hers.

"What were you guys talking about?" Peter doesn't know why he asks because he's pretty sure he doesn't want the answer. Still, he asks it anyway.

[st_hotflashes]

Liz made a thoughtful sound as she looked down at her fingers in her lap, playing with them. It seemed like such a normal conversation that she had to think about what was said, exactly.

"We talked about the rain. Then he said if I stayed wet I'd get hypothermia. And then he asked if it snows here and I asked him if he missed it... You know, I think something happened to him that he hasn't really spoken to anyone about. I think it bothers him. So I told him if he ever needed to talk to someone I'd listen." Because that's what friends did. "And then he called me nice or something and the next thing I know...

She pressed her lips together. "I didn't know it was going to happen. If I did I'd have left a long time before, I promise."

[st_arkintern]

"I know you would have," Peter says. He's sure she would have.

"Do you think I should talk to him about it?" he asks. "Not just about him..." This is awkward. "You know... kissing you." He takes a breath.

"The other thing."

[st_hotflashes]

"The other thing?" Liz wasn't sure what he meant. "You mean whatever might be bothering him?"

[st_arkintern]

"Yeah," he says, looking carefully at Liz to gauge her reaction. "That."

[st_hotflashes]

"Um, well.. I mean. Do you want to do it because you want to or because you think you need to just to be nice?" She held his gaze. "If you don't want to be his friend or be nice to him, I don't think you have to be."

She really had no idea how this worked with boys, especially ones like Peter since her other relationships had been more controlling than this one.

"I don't think you should do anything you don't want to do."

[st_arkintern]

"If he's got something going on, he probably needs to talk to someone about it," Peter says. "It's not just me being nice. It's something I want to do."

Peter's just not sure how much he's going to want to talk about it given that Brad did just kiss his girlfriend, but he should at least try.

[st_hotflashes]

"Then you probably should... You're nice, Peter. And easy to talk to. And you're around the same age and a boy so you might know more about what's going on with him than I would." At least, probably. Especially if it was a boy related thing.

[st_arkintern]

"I'll at least give it a shot."

Peter reaches out for Liz's hand and gives it a squeeze. "You okay?"

[st_hotflashes]

The heat from Peter's hand was something that Liz suddenly realized she missed a lot. She squeezed back and this time it was a little more stronger than her normal squeeze.

"Yes? Or, I will be. It's just... it feels weird, you know? And I know it's not my fault, but it still sort of feels like it is, which I know is silly and doesn't make any sense at all." She could practically hear Maria's lecture in the back of her mind.

"And, I guess.. I spent the last few days like, really worried... about us. Which, again, I know is really silly and probably an over-reaction."

[st_arkintern]

"I'm sorry for making you wait as long as you did," Peter says. He does feel bad about that, but he was almost as uneasy at the prospect of having this conversation as he was at having one with Bradley.

Almost. At least he had a good idea of how Liz was going to react. It was totally different with Brad.

And...

"I don't think it's your fault." Not that that probably stops her from feeling that way, though.

[st_hotflashes]

"It's okay." And it was. The whole thing was complicated so it made sense to take time. Liz had gone camping by herself for a week, after all.

Though there was this lingering question she had been wondering for a while now.

"But, um.. is it going to be weird if I kiss you?"

[st_arkintern]

Peter blinks.

"What, like right now?"

[st_hotflashes]

She paused and flushed a little as she lifted up her hands and shook them slightly. "It doesn't have to be right now. I mean, it could be, if you wanted it. I just meant, in general?" Like, would Peter just think about what happened when they kissed? Would she? She didn't think so.

[st_arkintern]

"In general?" Peter repeats, blinking. "I mean, it'd be fine, right?"

Peter looks uncertain -- not because he's uncertain about he feels, but he's not certain if it's the answer that Liz is looking for.

[st_hotflashes]

"This is silly." Was it a statement or a question? Was she saying it to Peter or herself?

Liz could practically feel Maria's eye roll.

She looked at Peter and for a moment looked rather rigid and tense and not like someone who had been dating him for almost a year now. And then Liz suddenly leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. It was tense at first and then, when she felt the warmth of his lips, she relaxed.

And the best part was, when she kissed him, she only thought about him. No worries about other boys or any sort of hang ups. It was just Peter and the feeling she had when she was around him usually.

When she pulled back, Liz was smiling.

[st_arkintern]

When Liz pulls back Peter is smiling, too.

"That wasn't weird, right?"

It didn't feel weird to him, at any rate.

"You gonna tell Maria we're okay now?" If there's anything that he's certain of, it's that Maria has been entirely apprised of the situation already.

[st_hotflashes]

She flushed. Peter was right - Maria did know. Liz nodded.

"Yeah. I'll tell her... I sort of had to talk her out of finding you and Brad and lecturing. For what it's worth, though, she didn't think you'd let something like this get between us."

[st_arkintern]

"Maria was right," he says. "She's not like... mad at me, is she?"

It seems weird that he'd be worried about what Maria thinks, but... he is, because Maria is Liz's best friend. He's pretty sure she feels the same way about Mr. Stark.

[st_hotflashes]

She shook her head. "I think she might be angry at Brad, but she said she was going to talk to him." God help Brad.

Liz paused, thoughtful. "You're glad I told you, right? I mean... Someone said maybe I shouldn't tell you because it wasn't like the kiss meant anything, but."

[st_arkintern]

"I'm not sure," Peter admits. It took him awhile how to figure out how he felt after it happened; how could he be sure how he would have felt if he were placed in an entirely different situation? "But I think I would have been more upset if I found out later and you hadn't said anything at all. Like you were hiding something from me."

[st_hotflashes]

She nodded. "I sort of did it because I know how I felt." She, unfortunately, had been in the other version of what happened. "And I made that promise not to keep things from you, and I meant it."


Liz pulled a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "I know you didn't ask, but... Just for the record, I didn't see anything when he kissed me." Somehow that seemed important.

She leaned back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. "Sometimes I wonder if it's easier to be an adult, but then I remember that a lot of people here have similar problems... So I guess this sort of stuff never really goes away."

[st_arkintern]

That had been one of the things that Peter had been wondering about. Her seeing parts of his life seemed like something that was just for them, even though she had it with Max before him. It didn't feel right to be possessive of someone else like that, and so Peter tried to ignore it because he didn't want to be that kind of guy.

Still, he felt relived knowing she didn't see anything anyway.

"Yeah... the problems probably only get bigger from here." That wasn't a very comforting thought, but... "I guess that because we handled this, future things won't seem as big of a deal as if we hadn't."

[st_hotflashes]

She went up on her elbows to look at him. There was a slight smile on her lips and playful mischief in her eyes. "You mean like when girls start getting tattoos of Spider-Man on their body and want your sign on their body?"

[st_arkintern]

Peter grows red. "I hope not," he says, thinking vaguely of that time that Liz and her friends played Fuck/Marry/Kill in the gym together. At least if someone was approaching him asking for a signature, he'd probably have a mask on, so no one would be able to see precisely how embarrassed he was.

[st_hotflashes]

Liz always thought Peter looked cute when he blushed. Her smile warmed. "Well, I wouldn't blame them. If I wanted to get a tattoo, getting the little spider symbol would be what I chose. Somewhere small where only you knew about though." She paused. "Like the bottom of my foot or something."

[st_arkintern]

"It'd still be embarrassing," Peter admits. "But it'd be less embarrassing if it were you."

[st_hotflashes]

Lucky for Peter, Liz wasn't sure she'd ever be decisive enough to pick a final design or a location so the probability of a tattoo was low.

She sat up and then hopped off the bed, reaching for Peter's hand. "Let's go have dinner together and then we can come back and watch a movie of your choice. Okay?"

[st_arkintern]

Peter nods. "Okay."

He clasps Liz's hands in her own and leads her to the door. Right before he opens it, he gives her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Airbud okay?" he asks, and he steps through the door.

[st_hotflashes]

She smiled and nodded. "Airbud sounds great." Even if they could probably re-enact the whole thing from start to finish by heart.